October 04th, 2017
an oldie but goodie of my mother and her best friend Enith... they’d be 97 if they were still here... love those smiles❤️
Let’s talk about loss.
Loss happens. Loss can’t be avoided. Loss lingers. Loss invites you to get stuck.
It varies in the degree of Loss... from your wallet to your mate...to your beloved family member. Let’s all agree “Loss Happens”.
When loss happens it’s best to ride it’s overwhelming wave of grief.
Resisting the flow of loss allows “linger” to poke its head into the mix. Linger becomes a dam to the process. “Linger” makes Loss settle in, get comfortable and continues the misery of loss. Beware of “linger”.
Of course as humans we try to figure it out. We rationalize, defend and explain...until our heads have calmed yet our hearts are left aching.
The space in our world left empty is still empty.
We attempt to comfort with words that mean NOTHING to the grief wrecked while wrapped in the grief of loss. Loss makes us awkward.
We don’t want to catch loss like a summer cold because we recognize the destruction.
We don’t know what to say to our friends who’ve lost a child to drugs or drunk driving or suicide... but try to rationalize by saying hopefully only in our heads...”poor choices”, “nothing good happens after midnight”, “what did they expect?”... loss can be Ugly.
loss can make us ugly.
We judge Loss. As if in the judgement it will make it easier to cope. “It was his time.” “He had a good run.” “They shouldn’t have been drinking.”
Loss is comforted by the flowers, condolences and knowing hugs... and yet loss must run its corse.
But Loss still sits in the empty chair at the holidays. Loss is at the end of the phone when you call their number to report in or ask for a recipe and the number has been changed.
Loss happens! Loss hurts. Loss ...
It’s awkward. It’s painful. It lingers. Loss takes a place in your heart and no amount of condolences (albeit lovely) or flowers or warm hugs makes Loss leave.
So what’s the lesson in Loss?
Say I love you more without making the words cheap and frivolous.
Put your phone down and make eye contact with those you love.
Make room to honor loss. Because loss happens.
linger in those warm hugs... stop rushing thru life.
Commit to savoring time with cherished friends and remove “regret” from your loss narrative. “If only we would have visited more, talked more, written more...”
As I move thru this month of loss... so much loss...
I hear my head, I feel my heart and I wish I’d been a better friend, sister in law, Aunt, parent, sister, wife...
That’s where “ linger” lives. In the wishing and regretting. Loss can keep us paralyzed.
I, for one, don’t believe my “losses” want me left paralyzed. I know my loved ones want celebration and hope and meaning to come from their lives well lived.
Loss happens. Embrace it, recognize it, move with the wave of loss and keep on living. Honor the losses by rising and celebrating.
Honor your life as a testament to theirs.
let prayer in...
be it God, your higher power, Jehovah, who ever gives you spiritual guidance
ask to share the burden of Loss...
with my love which is floating around with loss, Annie
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